I remember when I was planning my wedding. By the end of it, I was pretty much ready to elope, old school style. Because even though weddings are about you, they’re also kinda about other people, too.
When I first dove into the world of self care, saying that I needed to take care of myself felt foreign. No wait. Even that was an understatement. I’d stopped taking care of myself for a loooong before I even knew I needed it. So when the time came to start, I needed a little help!
I’m a firm believer that weddings should be fun. Fun to plan. Fun to experience. And easy to enjoy no matter what the day holds.
If you’re planning a wedding, or a destination elopement, you’re bound to run into some obstacles. When you do, I wanna nudge you to read over this list — or create a new one that works for you. There’s room to plan both your wedding and your well being.
Here are some ideas to start!
1. CREATE BOUNDARIES. Is your wedding consuming your life? Brene Brown, shame and vulnerability researcher and author of countless books, really sends the message why boundaries are important. Here’s what she says:
“Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”
Check in with yourself from time to time. Set boundaries — not for other people, but for yourself. Schedule time in your calender to work on your to-do list when you can bring your A-game. And if you don’t want to talk about the wedding, make it clear.
2. KNOW WHEN TO STOP LOOKING. You’ve got options, and lots of them. Create a list of criteria you want each of your vendors to have and then interview a select few. Find people that speak your language. Get recommendations. Read reviews. Then, trust that you made the right decision and let it go.
3. QUIT TRADING TIME FOR MONEY. Yes, weddings can be expensive. Yes, you are in the middle of spending a lot of money on a big event. The only non renewable resource? Time. Hate grocery shopping? Start ordering them. Having a stressful time at work? Take a personal day. You are allowed to outsource without feeling guilty about it.
4. HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER. Speaking of trading time for money, I recently spoke Kaitlin from Kaitlin Shea Weddings and here’s what she has to say:
“Hiring a planner is in your best interest whether you’re totally type A or wholly hands off! Often, couples don’t realize they could have truly used a professional until it’s too late or their entirely exhausted!”
5. IF IT’S NOT A F**K YES, IT’S A… HELL NO. This might mean not attending a birthday party for a friend, happy hour with your coworkers, or skipping out on having a bridal shower. Sorry, not sorry. I’m not encouraging you to say no to everything, but at some point we have to choose your limits (boundaries, remember?).
6. CREATE AN INTENTIONAL MORNING PRACTICE. Gotta midday slump? Tired after work? Feeling sluggish at the thought of doing one.more.thing? Morning routines don’t have to be long to be effective. Start small. Maybe its a cup of tea alone before your day starts. Praying. Meditating. Journaling.
7. DON’T DO IT ALONE – ASK FOR HELP. Are you missin’ your gals, but prefer something relaxing vs a night on the town? Your friends want to help but don’t know where to start or what to do. ASK for help. Have them over to help you stuff invitations or welcome gifts. Make it a girls night over a bottle of wine.
8. TALK TO SOMEONE. And this time, I don’t mean your mom, fiance or BFF. Weddings bring people together… and sometimes that means unintentional drama. If things start to feel unmanageable, REACH OUT to a professional– a life coach, a therapist, or a mentor.
9. MARI KONDO YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA. You will fo’ sho’ be inundated with Facebook ads, random wedding vendors, and insane advertising once the word is out. Now is the time to go minimal on social media. Unfollow people who don’t bring you joy. Your friend with the unlimited wedding budget? Mute her on Instagram.
10. CREATE A GRATITUDE PRACTICE. Eeeeep this is one of my faves. I love me some gratitude. And TBH, the more I give, the more I get. Lists are great. Telling people is great. Thanking people is even better.
Okay, brides, there you have it! A starter list for self care. A place to go when the planning gets hard when you know it could (and should) be fun!
I’d love to know what you think, loves! Share below your favorite self care tip to get out of your head and stay in the present!