My heart is breaking for all of my 2020 couples right now— both brides and grooms alike. Because although the immediacy of my May and June couples is all in the works, I know the entire year is facing an upheaval because the many unknowns we’re still facing due to the Coronavirus. In fact, I just spoke to an October bride today who is considering moving their reception to May 2021.
As I’m navigating this pandemic with my couples, I’m starting to notice a few themes that will be helpful to start the conversation as you move forward with the wedding planning process, aspects of planning that you might not have thought about, and overall general themes I keep bumping into.
If you’re considering postponing your wedding, then give this list a quick look over.
1. The Art of Intentional Gathering
I think it’s safe to say that what we’re all learning as we face this crisis side by side is the importance of connection and the art of intentional gathering— getting all the people you love most in the world to celebrate your marriage… versus throwing a party. Make a VIP list. This list will most likely include your immediate family, the people in your bridal party, and your grandparents.
2. Your Vendor Team
I don’t know about you, but when I planned my wedding— gathering respectable and amazing vendors was a lot of work. That’s why wedding planning is a full-time job. On a normal day finding the perfect team for you in your budget is a lot of work, and now 2020 dates and 2021 dates are limited and poppin’! When you’re thinking about rescheduling, check in with your vendors, their policies, common open dates (maybe even a Friday or Sunday) and your contractual obligations as the client (wow, just typing that sentence made me feel v profesh— so lemme keep it real between the parenthesis).
3. The Price You’ll Really Pay
Weddings are associated with a high price tag, but this time there’s a new cost, and it’s not just a monetary value. The safety of you and your guests and the people that are gathering for you is associated with a high health cost. The art of gathering intentionally begs us to rethink the value of cost in more ways than one. What price do you want to pay to either leave your date as is, or reschedule?
4. Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C
Common themes I’m seeing, both with my couples and other couples, is:
elope now, party later
reschedule the whole event for a later date
skip the big planned wedding and have a tiny wedding instead
When the “stay at home ban” is lifted, people will be coming out of the woodworks for elopements, celebrations galore and engagement sessions. Check in with your photographer to see how they want to capture your date— one or both. And if you don’t have one, use the link here to talk to me (shameless plug… silently giggles at myself). Now is the time to have a back up plan for your back up plan!
5. Celebrating Your Original Date
I realize the option above is not for everyone. That’s one of my favorite things about being a wedding photographer— that every couple chooses to celebrate in way that’s unique to them. So if you can’t elope on your wedding day, how will you celebrate? I saw a couple from California on the news have a virtual wedding— their best friend made a cake, one sent flowers, all of their friends and family hopped a Zoom call. It honestly brought me to tears (and still does!). Maybe you want to celebrate privately in fancy PJ’s and read your vows over a home cooked meal and cake. Maybe not. Whatever you do, make sure to connect and honor this date. It’s an important one and deserves a celebration. And hey, if you’re lucky maybe you’ll get to celebrate both dates for the rest of your lives (sorry grooms— my husband would kill me for saying that— he can barely keep one straight!).
Here are links to some of my favorite bakeries and florists:
Considering a postponement is heartbreaking. I’m devastated for every single couple planning a wedding right now, and I promise, I’m not saying that lightly. And while I’m not a lawyer and can’t offer any legal advice, I’d love to start a conversation around this. If you ever want to talk, grieve, or go over options, I’m happy to be a listening ear for you— no strings attached. My heart hurts for you and all I really want to do is mend yours.
Thinking of you all during this time.
You May Also Enjoy…