‘Scu me while I take a sec to talk about social distancing and your wedding day… like almost every other wedding photographer.
But while they’re talking about the should’s and shouldn’ts, I’ll be talking about the feelings instead because that’s who I am, and that’s what I do.
As COVID-19 is taking the world by storm and we’re inundated with frightening statistics seemingly every minute, talking about a wedding might feel, well…. trivial in comparison.
And I want you to know that’s not true.
With new restraints on social distancing to flatten the curve seemingly every hour, moving forward with your wedding day can feel like a huge risk. And how can that feel trivial? A day you’ve been planning for a year…
You’re mad… upset.
But more than that, you may even feel sad and guilty, and you might be left wondering:
“Is it okay to feel this way?”
I think it’s important to say this: there isn’t a right way to feel, not now and not ever.
As you grieve the loss of your wedding day, or the plans that may have shifted because of COVID-19, it’s okay to honor the fact that you’re sad.
Because while this may feel like a surface level celebration to some, to me and my brides, this was a chance to bring everyone they love together in the same room and celebrate the happiest day of their lives.
Me and my clients are grieving something different: the loss of human connection.
As social creatures, the proximity to others is so important, and let me just take a second to speak for myself: I miss my people so freakin’ much!
Brene Brown, best selling author of multiple books and leading researcher of shame, vulnerability and connection at the University of Houston, says this about connection:
“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
Call me crazy (or an extravert), but I miss people. I miss relationships. I miss happy hour… wink.
Never has there been a time when we’ve been more vulnerable to illness and infection and this is the risk we will face as social distancing isn’t a fun getaway that we choose anymore.
So I want you to know this:
I’m rooting for your wedding day, however it looks.
This is not a time of “either/or” but instead “both/and”:
I can feel sad for the tragedy that’s happening around the world and still be excited to bring people together.
I can hurt while the world is hurting and look forward to the celebration and healing.
I can feel lonely and stir crazy during a time of social distancing and plan a time when people come together to celebrate our vows to each other: for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness and health.
Your wedding is the silver lining to so much tragedy, my friend, and it would be heartbreaking if you forgot it.
With my whole heart, I beg you to keep planning, to keep showing up, and to keep celebrating the love, light, and joy you bring to the world by celebrating your marriage.
So, what kind of celebration are planning after social distancing and mandatory quarantine are out of the picture?